Chocolate Milk Brands, Ranked

Life Is Too Short For Bad Chocky Milk

I warned y’all there’d be randomness…

A friend read my first posting and messaged me.

“I love it. It’s you. And I learned something new about you today…so what’s your go-to chocolate milk?”

This…is not a simple question to answer. It’s not just a matter of which one is the best. Where you live very much determines what’s available to you, be it from commercial dairy cooperatives or small organic operations. And then there are the national brands, like Muscle Milk and Nesquik which…I do not recommend.

So, what I consider the best are centered on the Pacific Northwest and Midwest, where I have lived and had ample opportunity to try all wares. I offer them humbly yet authoritatively for all.

(And no, no one is paying me for this free advertising but, hey, if any marketing execs at those brands I mention wanna float me some free samples, I ain’t gonna say no.)

Best widely available in my community: Darigold Old-Fashioned

Darigold is a farmer-owned cooperative that operates across the West and Hawaii. They have three chocolate milk types: a 1% and two 2% varieties, the FIT style and Old-Fashioned. The latter is the best, with a thicker and richer texture. FIT is…ok. Most grocery stores and even some convenience stories carry Old-Fashioned, so it’s easily available. Call this my “daily carry,” if you will.

Best bespoke in my community: Twin Brook Creamery

I know of only one grocer in my community that carries the delightful glass bottles that hold this incredibly rich and chocolately goodness. It can have a slightly sour smell and/or taste, but that’s because we’re not used to actual fresh milk without preservatives. It is also hella expensive compared to any other option, and that’s not counting the bottle deposit you pay when you first buy it. Worth it.

Best where I grew up: Shatto

Shatto Milk Company has been around in some form for generations but they didn’t start bottling and selling their own milk in the grocery stores in my home region until 2001, after I graduated high school. I went home for a visit once and my mom had bought some for me to try. Sold. It’s a bit saltier and less sweet than what you’d think a good chocolate milk would be, but it is still excellent. Highly recommend.

Overall best: Braum’s

Oh, Braum’s. Such a fond part of my childhood. They are actually a chain of dairy markets and ice cream parlors that also serve some fast food-like fare. Based in Oklahoma, they are mostly there and in Texas, but there was one in the southern Kansas town my grandparents lived in and we’d always go there when we visited them. I would compare their offering to Shatto with a sweeter taste. They also apparently add artificial vanilla to it, so maybe that’s the secret. If you are ever in the southern Midwest and can get some, do it. You won’t regret it.

Honorable mention: Umpqua Dairy Dutch Style Chocolate Milk

This was available in the discount grocer I frequented when I lived in Oregon. This is not a discount chocolate milk. It was my “daily carry” when I lived in the Beaver State. My fondness for it has faded since moving out of state but I still enjoy it when I can get it.

Now go forth and enjoy.